There is insanity in reason,

The store-shelf order by which

I organized my life, now bare.

 

The compartments in which

I put people, things and feelings

coming apart and falling down.

 

My rational side undone by one

who favours expression and

not the hours it takes.

 

There is insanity in order,

The reason for doing the mundane

at certain prescribed hours or days.

 

Who wrote this for me, this script

and what it does to my innate

loving creating being.

 

That year all about order

caring for everyone only to

descend into displeasure and unease

 

To escape the pressure this script

put upon me and everyone

else around to see the damage

 

Control, I thought I was doing

well, but that veneer was thin

And then became transparent.

 

My skin becoming thinner

with each sleepless night breeding

fear, doubt and less sleep.

 

How I prayed for all of you

and in being selfless how

I felt I was losing both you and myself.

 

But the control kept me going

or so I thought, one foot after another

step by step and I'd get through

 

A year unlike another.

 

Debra

November 12.2006